all the feelings
A wave of sadness hit me last night thinking about fully weaning you. A huge chapter in our life is about to close. I’m one tiny part relieved, one giant part already missing you. You are growing way too fast, and while I know this decision is the best for you and your independence, I just want to hold onto you forever.
Today was an absolute magical day. I wish I could keep this feeling in a jar. I wish everyone in the world could experience this feeling and then we’d have world peace.
You slept 11.5 hours last night. I drove J to the airport and came back and you woke up two minutes after I arrived. I offered you water and almond milk, reminding you that there would be no boob in the morning, and you didn’t even bat an eye. You had breakfast, worked out with me in the basement, and went upstairs to AY’s house. We let Dada sleep in. We went to the park with WP and R. We played with ants, swung on the big swings laying back watching the clouds, and sat in the grass and dug up dirt. We packed our things to go to Bear Mountain and you napped the whole way there. We had an AMAZING lunch, drove to Perkins Memorial Tower, and spent a while climbing rocks, eating snacks, and drinking water. We headed home soon after and you were a champ the whole two hours home. You complained a bit, we heard you, and you settled down. You complained a little more, we heard you, and you settled down. You almost fell asleep but we made it home, walked around the neighborhood looking at all the trick-or-treaters’ costumes, then did bathtime and bedtim.e We read four books tonight and you went down so, so peacefully.
I can’t stop gushing to Dada how perfect you are. On your good days and your bad. The way you look at me with pure glee, the way you “WOW” when you see something so exciting (fire trucks!), the way you “mmm-mwah” when you give kisses. I want to eat you and your cheeks! I JUST LOVE AND ADORE YOU and I want to shout it from the rooftops.
I hope I always do right by you. I hope I’m always the parent you want and need. I hope you want me in your life forever, even when you’re married and have babies.